Days since last puncture.....0

Well not howabout that, on what felt like the wettest day of the year I suffer my first puncture of the year....

Ironically I was lying in bed this morning listening to the rain and wind and it dawned upon me that I's not suffered a puncture in a while. Typical.

I like to think I have a fairly good puncture protection set up with one of these up front and one of these on the rear, I have an air tube up front and a slime tube in the rear, double protection yay! It was pissing down this morning, absolutly pissing, I could have stolen the wife's car but that would mean she'd have to walk our children too and from school and that wouldn't be fair in this weather. Bike it was.

I never know quite what to wear when dressing for rain as you're gonna get wet regardless of what you have on, if it ain't rain it'll be sweat from the waterproof/windproof jacket keeping all the moisture inside. I went standard set up and set about my ride as per usual.

less than 5 minutes in, yes I should have turned round, and boom I get a punture. I look down and its the rear. My initial response of 'shit' was met with optimism as I have a slime tube in the rear which will re-seale itself If I just keep riding, so on I plod. 2 minutes later and its fairly obvious the tube isn't sealing and the tyre is flat. I pull over to pump up the tyre hoping the slime tube will forfil its actual purpose of 'staying the fuck inflated'. It's not looking good but off I ride again looking for a bus stop, it's still pissing down at this point so I'm very aware of my daugther's birth certificate sat in my slowly soaking rucksack (didn't want it to get wet you see).

I find the closest bus stop, up a slight gradient (wicked with a pucnture, cheers) and turn my (at this point bastard) bike upside down to change the tube. Initially I can't remove the valve nut as it's stuck and my wet hands aren't offering much in the way of traction. 2 mins later that's removed and I attempt to get the tyre off, this proves particularly difficult with a single tyre leaver and a tyre that is intent on not leaving the rim.

5 son of a b***h c**t minutes pass where I'm simply shouting obscenities whilst trying to remove the damn tube. Anyway, I get the tube out FINALLY and launch it in a rage over a fence in to an over priced housing complex overlooking Ascot race course, sorry bout that but fuck me if it had worked I wouldn't have had to. So it's their fault not mine.

I didn't have the time or energy to look for whatever may have been stuck in my tyre before putting my new tube in, with the state of my hands I'd prolly have only added more grit than I'd have removed. New tube in and pumped up with my hand pump, which is actually shit at putting air in innertubes but it's handy enough in this situation.

Back on the road and I cycle off just shouting 'fuck you' over and over until I'm happy enough people may have heard. Of all the poxy days to get a puncture why did it have to be today (it's still pissing down by the way), couldn't of happend on a dry ride could it, ow no that would be far too easy.

I'm still pissed off about it now, it's ruined my day, fucking inconvience. AND 3 fucking cyclists past me saying nothing and offering nothing in assistance, ow no wait one said 'morning', son of a bitch.

I hope next time it's those fuckers in the pissing rain changing a tube, where's my Camaraderie ????