Friday 9 March 2018

An ode to Pee


I've got 2 bud's I ride with regularly, there have been a few over the years, currently it's a particular pair I ride with the most.

One live's around the halfway mark of my route, the other lives in the town next to me. So it works out quite well from a logistical point of view.

We've got meet points and bail points on most of the routes and we can all get back from any point without too much trouble if required or our legs aren't playing ball.

Our initials create the NME crew, we've only recently worked this out and have ridden together less since we decided to name ourselves. Go figure. Might be my doing that as I work a slightly different shift pattern.

Anyway, So one of the guys is lanky and 12 stone, the other is about my height and weighs slightly more, I'm a bit of a runt in comparison. So we each have differing strengths on the bike.

I can hold my own on the flat but I'm not breaking any records, I used to be able to climb but that's gone off the boil a bit lately.

M can climb a bit and go fast on the flat.

E, now E has the ability to destroy the flat with great leg strength, this may or may not hider on the longer climbs. So E can't commit to regular riding as much as he'd like, so he's usually searching for form, fit off the bike, he has the stamina just lacking the mileage in the legs.

Sometimes previously, when E and I ride together, me with my superior cycling ability (cough) would need to stop for a pee, I have a 25 (ish) mile commute and if I drink after 4pm, I need to pee on route. As E was consistently searching for form, we'd agree that he'd go on and I'd catch up. This was fine on a few occasions and worked ok for both of us.

Then something changed.

Not my attitude, obviously, I do this most days so clearly I'm superior, right....... So this one time we were riding our shorter route that is fairly flat in parts, I guess the last 10 miles are flat. Screw it, I need to piss. I shout the words 'I'm stopping to Piss, I'll catch you up' not a problem, we've done this before, it's all good. E would keep the pace we'd been riding at and I'd catch him and all would be well.

That night something switched in E. The word 'Piss' seemed to act as a prompt to drop the hammer. I'd not witnessed anything like this before and I was unsure where it had come from and why this pace hadn't been deployed before. It Honestly took me the best part of 6 miles to get anywhere near being back on his wheel and the next 4 to recover as I limped home after E turned off, thank god.

You never really want to give too much away when you get your ass kicked in this manner. I couldn't let E know his pace was an issue for me. Shiz, I ride this route constantly and should by rights be the master of it. I had to beast myself to get back onto his wheel. I wanted to say 'Jeezz dude, why didn't you wait' but pride wouldn't let me.

It took me a while to admit too this. What with M offering a lead out on climbs and me not being able to hold his wheel. Now E was destroying me on the flats.

I've not pissed on my route since. I can't afford too.


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